so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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