We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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