Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  oh and he was serious.

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  (303): once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir. (303): oh and he was serious. http://tfl.nu/t6g9
  Replies (26) Good night (686) Bad night (4143)
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  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3425) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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  (602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1194) Bad night (5065)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  How did people poop without Blackberrys?

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Motorola Razers?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Stone age, man.

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  (902): How did people poop without Blackberrys? (416): Motorola Razers? (902): Stone age, man. http://tfl.nu/a751
  Replies (53) Good night (4121) Bad night (755)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.

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  (352): my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better. http://tfl.nu/j6r0
  Replies (17) Good night (913) Bad night (4797) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1717) Bad night (10731)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked

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  (813): well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked http://tfl.nu/vpbr
  Replies (23) Good night (4026) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas

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  (209): Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas http://tfl.nu/u2nh
  Replies (11) Good night (3038) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

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  (952): Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you. http://tfl.nu/1zuw
  Replies (13) Good night (1191) Bad night (3856) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth

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  (+44): I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth http://tfl.nu/v9jy
  Replies (10) Good night (1390) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

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  (509): I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/3owz
  Replies (9) Good night (2474) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

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  (514): Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance. http://tfl.nu/bud1
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.

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  (913): Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis. http://tfl.nu/77ah
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.

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  (501): You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed. http://tfl.nu/yh1d
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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  (610): Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls. http://tfl.nu/zc4i
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt

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