some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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