you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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