the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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