He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize