Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize