I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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