i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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