...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize