so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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