porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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