I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize