we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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