did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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