Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I love you.
Bad choice
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