how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize