I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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