for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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