I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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