Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize