I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize