the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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