ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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