I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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