if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize