i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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