I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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