today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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