Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize