Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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