Is it normal to miss your booty call?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize