Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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