Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize