So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think i have two assholes
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize