Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize