I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize