Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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