so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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