yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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