just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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