Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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