Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Eco-friendly.

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  (515): I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly? (1-515): Eco-friendly. http://tfl.nu/yssm
  Replies (29) Good night (2200) Bad night (4649) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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  (601): I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk. http://tfl.nu/k978
  Replies (13) Good night (3571) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch

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  (613): OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch http://tfl.nu/pswe
  Replies (7) Good night (6742) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

  (310): View more from California

  Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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  (310): Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs (310): Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor? http://tfl.nu/gbsd
  Replies (6) Good night (3714) Bad night (1025)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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  (717): best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying http://tfl.nu/r0td
  Replies (15) Good night (584) Bad night (2011) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

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  (978): He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine http://tfl.nu/bvyx
  Replies (12) Good night (2083) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.

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  (707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
  Replies (12) Good night (427) Bad night (2489) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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  (262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

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  (610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux
  Replies (3) Good night (1326) Bad night (287)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..

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  (832): I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something.. http://tfl.nu/p35d
  Replies (6) Good night (1840) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.

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  (720): She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship. http://tfl.nu/wvbn
  Replies (15) Good night (376) Bad night (1279)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you sleep with him again?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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  (978): The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me. (1-978): Did you sleep with him again? (978): No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me? http://tfl.nu/swvn
  Replies (5) Good night (312) Bad night (833)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.

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  (850): He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him. http://tfl.nu/bban
  Replies (6) Good night (763) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

  (302): View more from Delaware

  yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

  (302): View more from Delaware

  wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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  (603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g
  Replies (9) Good night (548) Bad night (205)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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  (260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (122)

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