I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize