All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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