Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Randomize
Follow @tfln