Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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