just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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