I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize