just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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